


Temptation

by Tammaiya



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-25
Updated: 2004-12-25
Packaged: 2018-08-11 09:09:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7885111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tammaiya/pseuds/Tammaiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A discourse on the nature of tempting and thwarting. Well, okay. More like an argument.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Temptation

"Sometimes, I think you're more fond of those books than you are of me."  
  
No response.  
  
"Okay, forget that, that was silly. I _know_ you're more fond of those books."  
  
"Mm?" Aziraphale hummed distractedly, still stacking books. "That's nice, Crowley."  
  
It was a fact of existence that books came first with Aziraphale. That was just something you needed to learn to accept. However, that didn't mean Crowley wasn't a little miffed about it. He was more important than fucking _books_. In a tempt-and-thwart capacity, if not a friendship capacity.  
  
"You're not listening to me, are you?"  
  
"Yes, of course," Aziraphale said politely, continuing to read the spines of the books and alphabetise them by author.  
  
Crowley rolled his eyes in irritation. "I've decided to join gay pride for immortal beings," he said, because if Aziraphale wasn't going to listen, then Crowley may as well get some private entertainment out of the angel's answers.  
  
"I didn't know they had one," Aziraphale answered thoughtfully, eyes resting calmly on his pile of books left to be sorted. "But of course you know you have my full support, my dear."  
  
Crowley stared. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"  
  
"Did what?" Aziraphale said, finally looking up. His voice projected innocent confusion, but his expression was far too smug to be believable. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"You _bastard_ ," Crowley exclaimed with grudging admiration. Aziraphale had returned to his books, however, and whether or not he was listening to Crowley, he still wasn't paying him an appropriate amount of attention. Contemplatively, he reached towards one of the outlying books and wondered if setting it on fire would grab the angel's attention.  
  
"Crowley," Aziraphale said calmly, "do you want to explain to your superiors precisely why you need a new body? Because if you don't, I suggest taking your hand away from that book."  
  
Crowley's hand hovered. "You wouldn't."  
  
Aziraphale smiled. "Try me."  
  
Crowley removed his hand from the vicinity of the book, albeit reluctantly. He didn't think Aziraphale would actually do it, but… well, the angel got _thingy_ about books. He didn't want to risk it.  
  
Aziraphale allowed Crowley to skulk around the shop sullenly for a few minutes before he got too distracting. "Crowley," he sighed. "Did you want something?"  
  
"You're _ignoring_ me," Crowley said indignantly. "I do not appreciate being _ignored_."  
  
"Perhaps it's my new way of thwarting you," Aziraphale suggested wryly.  
  
"Then stop thwarting me!"  
  
Aziraphale raised his eyebrows. "Thwarting you is what I'm supposed to do," he pointed out. "If you cease tempting, I'll discontinue thwarting. Now, would you please stop loitering around like some kind of storm cloud? I need to get this cataloguing done."  
  
"I'll loiter where I like," Crowley muttered. "I'm not tempting right now."  
  
"You're always tempting."  
  
"I'm just standing here," Crowley argued. "How is that tempting?"  
  
"You're a demon," Aziraphale said reasonably. "Standing there would probably qualify as tempting."  
  
"Tempting to do what?" Crowley demanded. "Who am I tempting? There are no humans here!"  
  
"There is, however, an angel," Aziraphale said. "In case you have forgotten. And I have no idea what. Probably to go to the Ritz for lunch."  
  
Crowley had in fact been considering asking Aziraphale if he wanted to go out for lunch, but that was beside the point.   
  
"We go for lunch at the Ritz all the time," he said instead. "Why are you thwarting?"  
  
"Because right now I have things to do," Aziraphale said. "And I would rather do them than go to the Ritz."  
  
"That's not thwarting," Crowley objected. "You can't pick and choose when to thwart."  
  
"I beg to differ. I'm doing so right now."  
  
"That's still not thwarting," Crowley insisted. "Thwarting has to be righteous."  
  
Aziraphale put the book he was holding down on the desk. "How would you know? You've never thwarted!"  
  
"I've _been_ thwarted," Crowley said grumpily. "I recognise thwarting, and that is not it."  
  
"This is a remarkably silly argument," Aziraphale commented. "I'm sure you have things to do too, Crowley. Why don't you go do them?"  
  
There was the possibility that Crowley may have gotten bored earlier and found something better to do, but it had diminished to a chance not even within the realms of possibility. He wasn't going to let himself be dismissed. He was too contrary for that.  
  
"No, actually, I don't."  
  
Aziraphale rubbed the bridge of his nose wearily and stood up to get a cup of tea. "This is revenge for something, isn't it?"  
  
Crowley followed him into the kitchen and then back into the shop. "Not particularly. I just figured that if you were going to thwart me I may as well do something worth thwarting."  
  
Aziraphale grabbed a stack of books from the desk and started shelving them. "That won't be necessary, I assure you."  
  
"No, I think it is," Crowley said, smirking slightly as he came up behind Aziraphale. "If you're going to thwart, it's only fair that I tempt."  
  
Warily, Aziraphale glanced over his shoulder, wobbling slightly on the stepladder. "Oh, dear. Crowley, what are you--"  
  
The stepladder the angel was standing on abruptly disappeared and reappeared on the other side of the room, leaving the unsuspecting Aziraphale no time to do anything but fall with a loud thump on top of Crowley.  
  
"That was not tempting," Aziraphale wheezed. "That was just silly. And not very successful, dear boy, since I landed on you."  
  
"How would you know?" Crowley said cheerfully. "You've never tempted."  
  
"Yes, but I have _been_ \-- go away, Crowley."  
  
"I can't, you're still lying on me. Are you quite sure this isn't temptation? I'm finding it tempting."  
  
Aziraphale finally realised what Crowley was getting at. "Oh, bugger. No, Crowley. No, no, absolutely n-- mmph!"  
  
"Sorry, angel?" Crowley asked when his mouth was free again. "I don't think I caught that."  
  
"That," Aziraphale said weakly, "was not at all fair."  
  
"Was it meant to be? I hadn't noticed."  
  
"You're supposed to ask first!" Aziraphale objected lamely. "It's common courtesy!"  
  
"I am, as you so helpfully pointed out, a demon," Crowley purred. "I don't do common courtesy."  
  
"Well, you could at least once in your-- mmmm."  
  
They were still lying on the floor an hour later. Crowley must have rolled them over at some point, though Aziraphale wasn't quite sure when, because he didn't really remember it.  
  
"Shouldn't you be thwarting by now?"  
  
"Oh, I am," Aziraphale assured him. "Spectacularly, in fact."  
  
Crowley gave him a very sceptical look.  
  
"Well, if you're tempting _me_ then you're not tempting the souls of mortals, are you?"  
  
Crowley stared at him. "That is flawed logic, angel."  
  
"Not if you examine it very carefully. Er. Though perhaps some wine would help."  
  
"Undoubtedly."  
  
Long pause.  
  
"The wine can wait."  
  
"I think so, yes."


End file.
